Dear Faculty Relations: Dealing with faculty members who are not respectful or collegial, whether in meetings or over email, overwhelms me. I know it鈥檚 my job, but I鈥檓 not very good at handling confrontational interactions. How can I address this? 鈥� Conflict Avoidant

Dear Avoidant: When you let a difficult faculty member know you want to talk to them, you may be seen as a perceived threat, and they might try to dodge or delay meeting with you. Why? Let鈥檚 apply .

  • Status: Realizing they will be unfavorably compared to colleagues, their stress increases. Having to talk with you may feel threatening, and they might feel a need to defend their behavior to avoid the pain of a loss in status.
  • Certainty: Talking about their poor behavior could be an unfamiliar activity. Their increased stress can hinder their ability to think effectively or make good decisions about how they respond during the conversation. Help create certainty by sharing information about the meeting鈥檚 purpose and being transparent about potential disciplinary action steps. 鈥淚鈥檇 like to chat with you about your participation in today鈥檚 faculty meeting. Faculty are expected to be collegial and respectful; your interactions were not. I want to understand why you responded the way you did, and I鈥檇 like to share my perceptions of what happened.鈥澨�
  • Autonomy: 鈥淲ould you prefer to meet this week or next?鈥澨�
  • During the meeting, validate you have heard them. Share your perspective. Help them find ways to be heard while maintaining respectful behavior. Remind them collegiality is expected of all faculty. Follow up with a brief thank you for meeting email describing the meeting. Make a note to your files.听
  • Relatedness: Your goal is to build trust by demonstrating that you are fair and want to see them succeed. Coaching for these conversations is available from Faculty Relations; contact Suzanne Soled.

Written by Suzanne Soled, PhD, Assistant Vice Provost for Faculty Development and Support; Director of Faculty Relations, Office of Faculty Affairs, University of Colorado Boulder, December听2020