3 tips to help your student with resolving conflict
Conflict happens鈥攚hether it鈥檚 with a friend, roommate or family member鈥攁nd it鈥檚 normal in your student鈥檚 relationships. Learning to work through conflict can often lead to stronger relationships, and there are ways to have challenging conversations and navigate disagreements with others. Here are some tips to share with your student.听
Communicate effectively
When your student disagrees with someone, they may find that communicating can become tough. During a tough conversation, we can get caught up in our own emotions rather than focusing on the problem at hand. Communicating clearly can help prevent a minor disagreement from escalating out of control.听
If your student is experiencing conflict, share these tips with them:
- Allow the other person to share their point of view without interruption and avoid judgement.
- Listen as the other person shares their point of view, instead of forming a response to what they are saying.
- Be mindful of body language.
- When the other person is finished speaking, ask clarifying questions and summarize what was said. This helps to develop mutual understanding and validation.
- When your student is sharing their point of view, encourage them to speak from their perspective, use 鈥淚鈥 statements and avoid making assumptions.
- Avoid bringing up past issues, making personal attacks and allowing emotions to dictate the conversation.
- When agreement is not possible, allow for multiple truths.听
Learn about conflict styles
Encourage your student to reflect on what they do when they disagree with someone. Do they tend to ignore the problem or avoid the person? Do they confront the person right away, or look for compromise?听
Everyone has a different way of approaching conflict, and there is no correct approach鈥攅ach has its own benefits and drawbacks. It is important for your student to recognize how they personally deal with conflict and how their style could clash with someone else鈥檚.听
Once your student understands how they handle conflict, they can take steps to work more effectively with others when it arises. If your student is not sure what their conflict style is, with them to help them learn more.听
Reach out for help
If your student is struggling with conflict, encourage them to find support.听
Student Conduct & Conflict Resolution (SCCR)
SCCR offers free conflict support services including one-on-one conflict coaching, mediation and facilitated conversations. Learn more about conflict resolution.听
Residence Life and resident advisors (RAs)听
Students living on campus can reach out to their RA for more support. RAs are a great resource to help mediate conversations and find common ground. Be sure to talk with your roommate beforehand and schedule a time with your RA to discuss potential or unresolved issues.听听听
Off-Campus Housing & Neighborhood Relations (OCHNR)听
OCHNR is here to help students with all aspects of living off campus, from searching for an apartment and roommate, understanding Boulder housing options and providing free lease reviews with our staff attorney, navigating roommate disagreements, understanding Boulder ordinances and advocating for tenant rights.听
Peer Wellness Coaching听
Peer wellness coaches provide peer-to-peer support and are available to meet with students living on or off campus. They can help you navigate concerns related to roommates, relationships, stress, finances and more. Peer wellness coaches can also help you set goals, connect with other resources and create self-care plans.听