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by Harveen Gill
Spring 2025

Nurjahan Boulden is a wife and mother of three. She is an East African and West Asian Belly Dance teacher, speaker, advocate against gun violence, and artist empowering and uplifting women to return to their bodies and their cultural roots. Boulden grew up on the east coast and is now based out of Los Angeles, California. Boulden hosts community classes, workshops, and gives speeches across the country. 

Please share your background of how you came into movement, your earliest influences, and how you made it a priority in your life? 

Boulden grew up on the east coast. Her mom taught her explicitly how to belly dance. She and her sister danced with the family. Her mom hosted parties often. Swahili. Congo and Tanzania, have more isolated hip movements. Whereas, upper body isolations are North African and Middle Eastern. Boulden’s grandmother passed down the movement. She shares that there was a huge Lebanese community in the neighborhood, and they also brought in a lot of information. Friends gathered from work, family, and community. There was always Arabic music playing and also Taarab, a mix of great African styles. South Asian and Arabic influences shaped her upbringing. At the time, Tapes and CD’s were available to some extent but Taarab music was not available. She always loved dancing, but was often told in childhood that “you do not dance in public. Only in spaces with women”. It was very strict. Stepping outside meant your body is not your body. She shares how she would often get in trouble dancing outside of those spaces. 

Boulden enjoyed college and misses those communities. Lebanese and Iraqi friends also taught her belly dance. Somehow and some way, the summer after senior year of college, dancing, she got shot. “Of course she got shot. She was dancing, what else did she expect” - from her family and friends. Shame and guilt took over for a long time. She did not stop dancing but she did stop belly dancing. She navigated poor health insurance, and a shattered tibia. For eight years, she walked with a cane. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also was very prominent in her life at that time. Boulden shares how a lack of tools and language around her feelings inhibited her from living a fulfilling life. She felt she hit rock bottom. Boulden continues and shares how she did not feel like herself. She really needed emotional support and physical support. She had a hole in her leg and bone. Shame manifested physically. Emotional recovery gave courage to face the shame and aftermath. She missed running and playing soccer. Music felt good and was a grounding practice. She began dancing and running again. Although she felt ashamed of not being able to dance well, dancing around other women was what made her feel alive. Dancing on the street in the suburbs. “Let the world see me dance badly. I want that burst and feeling of joy of dancing again!”. Although shame voices were still prevalent, she no longer wanted to be small. Boulden craved moving bigger and braver. Healing while dancing. 

Boulden expressed that belly dance is a purposeful connection with your body. Finding joy in your body. Connection to your body. Little by little. Her pain from her injury had escalated from her leg to her knee to her hips and to her lower back. Her practice with belly dance is so much deeper now, because it is approached in a way that was not approached when she was younger. Boulden shares how “loving one's body regardless of what your body can or cannot do in the moment” can be powerful. Although Boulden comes from a complex family, complex history, and being forced to pigeon hole, she still claims authenticity. She emphasizes that every culture is a blend of various people, places, and perspectives. Belly dance has several perspectives and answers. She shares “keep it complex and let the complexity make other people feel uncomfortable in the right ways…do it how your body wants to feel it as a lived practice”. 

How are you feeling with your current offerings, what’s working, what is not working? 

Boulden fully believes this practice should be free. Although she has three kids and a full time job, it is impossible to do everything for free. Things she is asking herself are…”What are the best ways to share this with the world?”. In person engagement is more impactful than online gatherings. However, the reach is further online. Her personal passion for belly dance and community in her life’s work has led her to the idea that as an entrepreneur, “everything is an experiment”. Finding things that work well. Also finding things that don’t work well and learning how to adjust. Boulden shares that she continues to grapple with how to best share her ancestral practice…and the most meaningful moments are “being able to process emotions through movement with her community and creating that same opportunity for others”. 

Boulden emphasizes that part of her mission is to fill in gaps where the ancestral practice has not been represented. One example being, “Belly Dancing Through Anger”. Women of color are not safe to express anger. She shares how more “Belly Dance Basics” were sold than anything else. She continues to work with the question “How do I share what I love, with meeting people with where they are, and in the process - not doing anything to impress you, rather owning all of me. I sell the movement but we do something else. Community classes are experiments. Full experiences require so much more than the movement. Women are teaching each other… getting something deeper out of it…embodying vs pitching and selling”. It's a sacred space and so deeply supportive to be amidst multigenerational women and in a space where the more women that are gathered, the more knowledge can be transferred.

What are three valuable lessons you have received through working with your community that you did not anticipate or expect? 

Learning to be comfortable with the ambiguity, not having all the answers, not having to be concrete, community validating that it’s okay to live in the ambiguity, ideas and practices turn into dogma, not everyone has to move the same way, some practices are meant to be ambiguous. 

In 2022 posting Boulden began posting online more. Dancing and moving online, showing joy, behind closed doors in leggings, tank tops, and jingle belts. Questions came in from all over the world and helped embrace her culture. Scared of people seeing the real her…wearing traditional clothing felt like another layer, that “they are going to know”. Growing up in a really racist small town, hiding the parts of herself that she treasured the most, now an adult she asked herself: “what do you really wear when you belly dance?”. She began to shed shame around wearing traditional clothing while belly dancing which led to so much love and encouragement from her community and within. 

Boulden shares how younger people are doing the hard work and embracing the parts of themselves that the previous generation had buckled with shame and hid themselves. Despite hate and death threats, showing up authentically, in her courage and power, reclaiming the parts that her generation was scared to. The choice was to be safe or be in danger, and the real choice is to internalize the hate or to buck against it. In her online work and videos, she asks herself, “what message do I need, or to be reminded of? What message does my younger self need?”. Boulden shares that she has a lot of hope to see people fighting early and not when they are older. She declares she is protected in that power of full self expression. “You’re gonna hate me no matter what, so let me be full in my expression, in the danger of being a woman, danger of social media, danger regardless. When there are more of us that do, it changes the world and sets an example”. 

How do you balance taking care of yourself, your privacy, mental/emotional/physical health while doing such demanding public, and time consuming work with the community? 

Boulden shares that her goal is to use social media as a tool to work through shame. “I am not a social media advocate, I don't like posting, and also I realize it is a powerful tool for those whose voices have not been embraced in mainstream media. I have had eczema patches from stress, a lot of push back, from family, friends, and African communities. I wait until I’m ready, making bad videos all the time, stupid videos, as a reminder that “I don’t owe the world my fight every time. If I’m feeling depleted, retreated, I stray from political footage to fill up my own cup… stepping forward and stepping back. Prioritizing my well being and being okay to be creative. I go for a walk in the morning, I don’t not use the phone in the morning, or during family time. I don’t share everyday life on social media. My curated content separates personal life from online life”. Boulden further shares that she is only vulnerable when she’s ready. 

Additionally, to support her well being, she has set up administrative support to step back from the chaos of customer service. She does not teach regularly. No consistent teaching schedule. She designs her life in a way she can live. She has set up life so there’s a lot of flexibility for her…possibilities are endless. Boulden believes “create in the way you want to create it”. Start wherever you want to start, design a lifestyle that works well for your creativity and joy. “I don’t want to get burnt out teaching at every ability level. It requires an immense amount of emotional work. Along with being extremely productive, trying to figure out your own flow, letting yourself rest knowing that possibilities are endless. 

Are there any films or books you recommend around preserving culture, third spaces, or the history of belly dance?  

Grandmother’s Secrets by Dr. Rosina-Fawzia Al-Rawi, an Iraqi author. The Messenger By Khalil Gibran. 

What is your motto that you live by, that crosses through your work?  

“Fall but make it sexy” - if you fall just keep going, have fun and be silly about it…Embrace being fully self expressed no matter what we survived. Let go of your past experiences that stop you from being your most authentic self. Practice expression as a radical act of resistance, to find community, and be creative. Creativity is at odds with white supremacy. Knowledge is not created but rather received. Continue to empower creativity. Find the creativity in your own body. White supremacy finds safety in sameness. Practice resistance by embracing your heritage, your culture, and your truth. 

What’s next? Future? Legacy? 

“Legacy is looking up around me and seeing so many more women of color sharing our practices all around the world!”. This is where her work is leading towards. Seeing other women of the global majority being successful, taking up space, and teaching any kind of cultural practice. People are so critical of women of color teaching. Every time someone teaches something, it pulls something together. There is space for all of us! Legacy is everyone deserves a space. In the immediate future, possibly a memoir. Writing her memoir. Writing her grandmother, mother, and her story. Be willing to disagree and allow people to hate the choices you have made for your life. Have more conversations with mom. The book is a different beast. People hosting dance parties all the time everywhere and all around! More dance. More community. Her hope is for people everywhere to have community. “Community for everything we want to accomplish in life. A writing group, posting online group. Building teams and communities. Community is not competition. Jealousy is teaching us about ourselves. What part of yourself are you not happy with? Practicing self reflection so we can live in community. A more present dance world. More uplift and support for one another. More refugee camps and belly dance circles. Incredibly powerful. A world where everyone has permission and safety and empowerment to have dance be self expressed. Promote and uplift and support anyway that you can. Affordable, attainable and accessible”. Legacy is beyond just herself and deeply a part of something deeper and greater. 

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Boulden shares that her work is her sole source of income. No sponsorships. No grants. She doesn’t ever want to feel silenced by waiting for money from someone else. Being able to speak up for what you are passionate about without feeling like worrying about your livelihood is important to her. She refuses to compromise her ethics. She has worked in the non profit sector, her entire career. Mostly on the program side, and with fundraising. Communities of color often get exploited by the people that are supposed to be serving them. Although she prefers to be in the background, business and life lessons ask her to be in front. How can you fundraise ethically? Practice consent? Educational non profit and university settings sometimes do not allow people to speak about certain things because of donors. The contradiction of serving the institution vs your own ethics. Working as an independent artist and teacher has made her more income than her previous job. Boulden feels good about this income as it puts her in a position where she does not need to cater to someone else. Fear of being in the public eye is still the same lie….anything can happen at any time…safety vs danger…internalizing vs standing in your power…saying small does not keep you safe…threats are terrifying…rather live a short life doing what I love vs hiding living a long life”. 

Closing Thoughts… 

Boulden shares, “All of the support you deserve to navigate that path, all of the things you want will come true. All of the good will also present itself, this is a life I would love over and over again…experiencing pure joy vs being scared, impact over fear, knowing I am meant for something bigger…side by side, hand in hand…creating a circle around one another to protect and uplift”.